BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
