Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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