I'm eating all of the evidence.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
