we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
