I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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