I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sober January is a disaster.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
