so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
