yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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