you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm at about main and main street
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
