My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Couch. On fire.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
