youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I smell stomach acid.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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