O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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