i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize