the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
