Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
