No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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