it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize