Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
