apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
