So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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