Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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