last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
