Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize