Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just found puke in my bra..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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