The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
