I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
