i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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