She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
