Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
