Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize