THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
