It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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