I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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