He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
