She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
