I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
