they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
