how can u be prego again
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
two words: eviction party
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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