You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
