yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
