omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
did i just pee glitter
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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