On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
