C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
