i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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