in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
