he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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