I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize