He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
