Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
