i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize