I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
