C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You can't special order awesome
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
