what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
