my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
