Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
