Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
