just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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