I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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