apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
