Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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