she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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