My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize