If i come over, it means nothing
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize