And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
