I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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