you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
